My first week of teaching has come and gone and I am currently at the midway point of my second week.

Here is my first week highlight:

We conducted a writing assessment in our class during the first week to get an idea of where our kids are at in terms of their writing skills.  We basically gave them a sheet of half-lined, half blank paper to write and draw pictures on.  While reading through my students' work I came across a drawing of me in my blue, flowered dress that I had worn one day and below it were these words - "I love Ms. Sayre.  She is good teacher.  I love Ms. Sayre dress."

My heart was melted, to say the least.  And I smiled. 

This is the most difficult position I think I've ever been in in my entire life.  And I question my decision to come here and do this program every day.  I doubt my ability and my qualifications constantly.

But it's moments like the above that reel me back in.

You have to keep your chin up.  And your game face on.

Peace,

Abs

I'm really hoping I haven't made a huge mistake.

I can't really remember why I chose to go from one ridiculously stressful and challenging environment (Bryn Mawr) to another (NYC Teaching Fellows).  One that is equally, if not more, intense and demanding.

I always thought I didn't really have the money to travel.  And now I'm using my savings bonds to pay rent and set up an apartment.  I suppose I could have used such funds on a plane ticket to some far away country.

I decided to stay for the baby.  Laurel's baby that is.  At least, that was one thing that really made me think about whether or not I wanted to leave the country.  Maybe that's silly.  Or maybe it was just an excuse.

And that city is kicking my ass.  In more ways than one.  I don't really want to go back and face it all.

fuck.

I closed on an apartment tonight.  Well, I almost closed.  Technically the papers won't be signed until Wednesday night.  But in lieu of anything catastrophic occurring between now and then I think I can safely say that I have found a permanent residence in NYC.  West 142nd St. and Amsterdam Ave. will be my little spot in the big city.  Zaineb and I will move in sometime early to mid-August and will most likely spend the four to six weeks following that sleeping on our $1900/month floor eating cereal and ramen noodes for most meals until our first paycheck comes two weeks into September. 

Being alive is an expensive thing.  Well, being alive in New York City, anyway. 

I cannot complain.  I am doing well.  I have a job, a home, a dear friend to come home to and many more right nearby.  I have a roof over my head, food to eat and soon I'll have medical and dental benefits, not to mention a sweet discount on metro cards, STAPLES, the New York Times and many more things...

And I have the oppportunity to impact the lives of children everyday.  That's a pretty sweet deal. 

I will be rejoicing at the end of this week.  I will have completed training for Teaching Fellows and therefore hopefully completed all my outstanding paper work.  I will have signed my one year lease for the apartment and taken care of most of my first payment.  And I will be ready to spend a whole week in magical Camp Shehaqua enjoying the simplest and most precious things in life. 

Time for sleep.  Blissful, uninterrupted sleep.